Correspondences with my long distance boyfriend
Read from the top ..
My comments in red
Tuesday, December 29, 2009 4:41 AM
From: APT
Good Morning Sweetheart,
Morning to you too darling. I know, I know, its Tuesday morning and I didn't write you yesterday, I'm so, so sorry I was so tired and having spoken for so long yesterday, I apologise.
But hey, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and my heart is so fond, I think it's gonna burst!
I miss you so much my darling, I don't need to tell you how much I long to be with you again (but Ii just did!)
I was thinking so much about that earlier tonight, when I am going to meet you at the airport. You make everything complete in my life and wanna tell you again, that I can't imagine spending time with someone else and having these feelings for anyone else. I'm anxious to see you again honey. Well time is ticking, and it's going by really slow. I will only starts counting when the calendar change to Feb 2010 hehe
So, we are both back at work and presumably, like me, work is quiet just now, but soon it will be busy again and you wont find time to email during the daytime, so maybe I'll get a reply to this one, hehe
One thing I wanted to reassure you of earlier today Baby, when you are here, you can be certain I intend to take good care of you, I love you so much and want that you be happy and never regret your decision to come stay here. Naturally I want to help you return whenever you want to, and no matter how long you return for, I will always want you to have the freedom to come and go between europe and asia, you know, just like going out shopping, dining, excursions to the seaside or countryside, staying in to watch movies, making love, I want you to feel that visiting Singapore is just another natural thing for you to do with my blessing, approval and love. I will always try to deny you nothing, giving you all that you require and desire, there are just three things I want for you, those are, happiness, contentment and love and I know very well I have to work on all those things, every day of our lives, and promise you that I will, I will try so hard never to let you down, after all, you are my future , and all that I want in my life. aauuw thank you baby. You know what? You said that you're gonna make me a happy woman ... Baby, you've already done that, and I appreciate for you being yourself and showing me love and being so open with your feelings everyday. I love you so much my darling APT. About the trip back to Spore, we will work it out when the time comes. Honestly, once a year trip back to Spore is more than enough for me. I don't want to be a burden to you. I hope I can find a job there in the UK or maybe run a small food business, InsyaAllah.
And in return? Wellllll… actually, nothing. I want only you, beyond that, I will neither ask or demand anything, I know you are expecting me to say there are one or two things, but really, there's nothing. The reason I can say this is because I believe we already have the essential ingredients in our relationship anyway, we have mutual trust, fidelity, friendship, love and understanding, so, with these in place from both sides, there is really nothing more I would ask of you. Thank you so much for having so much faith in me and in us as a couple. And I love you more for that honey and will always do.
Well, almost time to be giving you a wake up call, my favourite time of the evening, so I will be talking with you very soon, until later today my love, byeeeee.
love you always, me too honey
APT, x x x
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009 4:01 AM
From: APT
Good Morning Darling,
Hey, its Wednesday and the year of 2009 is coming to an end.
In so many ways, I want it to come to an end, because that means it will be and we will be together in just a few weeks.
There again, I never wanted 2009 to end as its been such a special year in my life, the year I finally met someone who I fell in love with and the memories of the time we spent together will last forever, and for that, I regret the ending of this year.
But its about the future now, and the anticipation of seeing you again is starting to grow, stronger and stronger, how wonderful to think that l'll actually be able to hold you in my arms again, I love you so much my sweet MT.
I don't want you to attach any importance to what I was saying towards the end of out conversation last evening, I just wanted to make it clear that I feel so lucky to have you, and if I ever lost you, really wouldn't know what to do with my life, you've taken me over in so many ways and I never, ever, want to be without you.
And what Deedee told you moved me quite deeply, that you deserve to be happy, about that there is no doubt, and she feels that I make you happy, well, that is something I take as a huge compliment and there is nothing, now or in the future, that I would want to do except keep on making you happy for as long as I have breath in my body, and my greatest wish is that as I take my final breath, that your smiling face would be the very last thing I ever see, then I know I would be in heaven.
On other matters now, P***r is home from hospital, I went to see him as planned this afternoon and he was, as usual, restless and wanting to go home, then around 7 30 had a call from his mobile telling me he was in a taxi, and five minutes from home. This is typical of P***r, he can be irresponsible sometimes, and this is one of them. I understand his frustration, just lying in bed all day must be incredibly boring, but this is against medical advice and I just hope he doesn't regret it over the next few days. On the positive side, I will only have to walk around to his house, instead of driving all the way into town, and the nurses and carers will call on him more regularly than anyone saw hi in the hospital.
OK, time to eat and watch Liverpool play football on TV, then I will be making your wake up call, and you know how much I love to do that! looking forward to hearing u soon, I love you now, I will love you forever, and I will love you after that! Goodnite my love, we'll speak later.
All my heartfelt adoration,
APTx x x
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Thursday, December 31, 2009 2:42 AM
From: APT (RED)
To: MT (Purple)
Hi Baby,
Hey, honey... I miss you. You know I miss you like crazy, and always will, I'm just sitting here in front of my comp, with a cup of coffee tea for me right now, thinking about you, like I always do. Is there ever a time I'm not thinking of you? errr, answer = NO I hope you're as happy as me, my hapiness will be complete when we're together honey, but until then, yes, I'm as happy as you are, weekend is almost here again.
Its dark outside, cold as it is raining so heavily. The thought of you in my arms right now sounds so good to me hmmmmm, and you in mine, my beautiful asian princess. I keep looking at your photos in FB every now and then. I just want you to know how much I love you.. I truly care for you baby I know you do honey, just one of a million reasons I love you so.. I can't really find the words to explain the way I feel about you and neither can I express the true extent of my love for you, but you must know that its real, and forever,and when I hear your voice every morning. Again I want to tell you this, that I like the feeling that I feel. and I like it too darling, did I ever do anything to deserve you ?, I don't know, but I'm just so eternally grateful that I found you, and for as long as I am able, I will do everything possible to make sure you know it every single day
Thinking of you always, MT
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Monday, January 04, 2010 6:31 AM
From: APT
Good Morning baby
Just tried calling you but my card expired, so I'll have to go get a new one after work Monday morning. Sorry abt that, I just hope you woke up and wasn't late for work!
Well, back to work for you and the start of a new year for us both, my sincerest hope for the new year is that we will be able to spend as much time as possible together, I don't have to tell you how much I love you and want to be with you, you know all of this.
I think I should be home early today, and most days this week as there isn't too much time available, but hey, that will give me more time to find another job!
I love you Darling MT, always will do, you just remember that, and we will speak later, OK?
All my love,
APT
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Thursday, December 31, 2009 9:02 PM
From: APT
Grrrrrrrrr
So fickle, so unforgiving, so cruel, so impatient,so go find a new boyfriend,so i can kill you both ! HaHa It's called Sleep!
........I was abandoned and forgotten by someone I love so dearly.
He doesn't call me anymore.
He doesn't want to wake me up in the morning anymore.
He doesn't care about me anymore.
He doesn't this, he doesn't that bla bla bla about me .... uwaaaahh
But whatever it is, I will still love him always.
He stays in me for as long as I live.
hmmm but again, I think I need to find a new boyfriend.
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Monday, January 04, 2010 11:20 AM
FROM: MT
hahaha..
so violent and brutal boyfriend!
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Tuesday, January 05, 2010 3:27 AM
From: APT
Dearest Darling MT
First of all, on a little sad note, I just want to let you know that today, January 5th is the birthday of my most beloved brother who died several years ago, and on this day, I visit the cemetery to pay respects, say a small prayer, and just think of him, if even for a few moments. I tell you this as it may make me a little late arriving home, so I hope you will excuse me for this.
Now, on a much happier note, as I told you already, something has happened recently, I don't know what, but its like my feelings for you have been melted down and concentrated to the point where just thinking about you can bring tears to my eyes, cos I love you so much. I may have told you this before, but you brought so many special things into my life I could never begin to thank you enough, but hey, one of the foundations of our relationship is honesty, right? So the last thing I want is for you to tell me things that you think you want me to hear or read. Maybe it would be better if I kept these thoughts inside me, as the last thing I want is for you to feel any pressure about being together.. please Darling, you must tell me if any of what I tell you is more than you want to know right now, but you probably realise by now, I 'm so in love with you I feel I can tell you the most innermost and intimate details without the fear of being ridiculed or made fun of.
And, on another pleasant subject, how nice it is to be formally engaged! I too, had the same feeling when you were here and I was able to place that ring on your finger, it felt then, and still does, like that was your agreement to be married and I felt so proud when I referred to you as my wife and you didn't object, you know, it felt natural then, every bit as natural as it does now, just that now, we have actually agreed on the matter and once more, this has increased my inner strength and determination to devote myself to pampering and looking after you.
So, I wish you a not very busy day at work, please don't stay late, I hate the thought of you over working, its much better if you spend your time exercising and dieting, HeHe.. but seriously, they are much better for you than working. I love you my so special princess, until later today, All my love,
APT
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Tue, 5 Jan 2010 12:26:46 +0800
From: MT
Another busy day again lies in front of us..
OK baby, you go straight to pay a visit to your brother's grave. It makes me sad knowing that we won't be side by side to face everything together or anything that come our way. Though we are a part, my mind is always with you. Thinking of you and imagining that you are just here beside me. So near that I could just reach you and hold you, hug you and kiss you.
All I wish is that I could always be there by your side whenever you need me.. or even if you don't.. I want to make you smile whenever you feel down. I want to be there to massage you, when you feel tired from daily work stressed...be there to spoon feed you when you can't eat because you're busy or sick. To be there when you need a shoulder to lean on... All I want is to be there, all the time, anytime for you.
I am waiting and hoping and wishing for the time, when we can be together forever! I miss you!.. I really do.
I will leave office at 6pm and be home latest 7.30pm depending on the traffic flow. Luv you honey. You are the love of life.
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Wednesday, January 06, 2010 4:12 AM
From: APT
Hi You may notice in the subject line, the date is increasing each day, that can only mean one thing, January is passing quickly and next month will soon be with us!
Thanks so much for your mail of yesterday, your writing really does mean so very much to me, the very first thing I do when I walk into the house from work every day is to log on, put the coffee pot on when the computer fires up, then look for your mail while waiting in msn for you. It's become something of a ritual, like a sequence of actions I do automatically, without even having to think about it, but if you're not there! how I panic ! not knowing if all is ok, not knowing if you've suddenly had a change of heart and don't want to talk, hehe, it just adds to the suspense until i eventually see you appear on the screen, then.. relief! she loves me for another day', wow, I'm so lucky.
Today however, could be a little different, 'cos I decided I'm not going to take a risk of travelling to work if the snow is bad, as I write, it has finally stopped, but the road outside the house is completely blocked and I don't know when I walk around to where I parked the car last night if it will be ok or not, its so deep it would be impossible to drive up to the house right now, when I came home today, not one single car had left the cul-de-sac, and every one of them was blocked in by the snow, I'm just glad I didn't try to park the car where I normally do as it would have got stuck, without any doubt.
Its now Wednesday, so I am hoping the roads will clear by Friday so that I will be able to attend the interview as its so important, but if its still bad, I' sure they will understand and reschedule the appointment.
It must be difficult for you to imagine the extreme weather we have here, but then again, do you have a monsoon season? then you will know how, in your case, the rain can make things difficult.
Whatever you're doing today my darling, do it carefully, and take care of yourself, I can't wait for you to get home and talk to you once more, until later.
I love you, your APT
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Thursday, January 07, 2010 4:12 AM
From: APT
Good Morning Ms T
How nice to receive you email message of yesterday (as below), you may care to know that, in fact, the writer of this particular email is equally, and in all probability, far more, crazy about you than you are about him. This is , of course, due to the fact that he (your lover) is much, much more in love with you than he thinks you ever could be with him. The observation that he does not go out on 'dates' with either members of the same or opposite sex, is indicative that either .. he is so totally devoted to you he could never consider leaving the house without you, or b) he is just a sad individual with no friends, let alone one who would actually invite him to go anywhere and even if he had a friend, that friend would obviously be so embarrased at being seen out , he would rather fake an illness.
Anyway Baby, you know u are the love of my life and there is really nothing in the world I would rather do than stay in, with my wonderful thoughts and memories of you, if I cant have you right here with me, then they are all I need
"Hey, I'm totally crazy about your. I believed in soul mates and believed that God does make a special someone for every mankind. Whether that we find that someone Allah created for or not, I know I was created for you.. hehe..
Busy at work now.. papers papers papers! aaarrrgghhh...!!!
Till we talk later tonite"
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Thursday, January 07, 2010 4:27 AM
From: APT
Subject: An Important Decision You Should Read
Good Morning,
I don't know how to tell you this MT, in fact, I will leave it until the end of the email, just in case you may have the wrong idea and get the incorrect impression, but there is something important that you need to know, and i can see no benefit in delaying me telling you this, so, please do not hold this against me, but I can no longer go on in this relationship without you being aware of something that will affect both of us for the rest of our lives, and it is so important, and indeed, urgent, that I inform you right now, before we go any further.. and it's this :
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. I absolutely adore you!
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Thursday, January 07, 2010 12:09 PM
From: MT
Subject: RE: An Important Decision You Should Read
Grrrrrrrr.. that was full of suspense! Grrrrrrr
Luv u darling. Very busy today again.
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Friday, January 08, 2010 2:39 AM
From: APT
Good Morning Darling
First of all,
''... Gone thru many ups & downs of life in 2009..living in faith of the Almighty.. So gonna drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, & thank Allah for the strength You've given me. Cheers to a new year '' sound familiar??
You really mean you want to let it go, forget all about it? it was so imperfect?, the year we finally found each other ??
Well, if that's the way you feel, I respect that, but I have to say I'm disappointed, I wouldn't have thought of 2009 like that at all, for me it was such a terrible year until I met you, then you turned my world around and give me hope for the future, which is why I made public in my FB that I am looking forward so much to the year of 2010.
BTW, I hate the photo you used in your FB profile, a ripped image? what's the significance of that ? its horrible as a result I cant look at your FB profile anymore, unless that's what you want ! HeHe.
OK Honey, no more bad comments, but I just had to tell you what I was thinking, tell me you don't hate me for it, I'm counting on you wanting honesty in our relationship and you know I would never say something just to hurt you, but its how I feel.
But I also feel such an intense love and adoration for you that you should know that too, a feeling that i like so much, I never want it to go away, just like I want you to never go away. Tell me again Baby that you believe in us, tell me that you want us to be together, tell me you'll never leave me. You know something? even if we cant be together, side by side, sleeping together every night, waking together every morning, laughing, walking, shopping, gardening, decorating, vacationing, even crying, together, as long as I know its what you want, then I don't care when it will be, just the sooner the better, but the very knowledge that its what you want will keep me going and strengthen our partnership even more.
You know, not every day, but sometimes, I get this panic attack when I think of you ending our relationship, I've lost people who were dear to me, my mum, dad, brother, best friend, but the momentary thought of losing you sends me into such a state, it feels just horrible, maybe because those I've lost in my life have died, whereas if I were to lose you, you would still be there, just not with me anymore, and in many ways, that would be even harder to bear. But please, like you told me yesterday, there is no forcing in Islam, I want you never to think like that about us. I think you know me well enough to agree I could never force you to do anything you didn't want to, everything you do, I want to be your choice, and understand, its completely my choice to love you the way I do, without condition and totally.
Have a lovely day today my Darling, in between your to'ing and fro'ing around the site, try to think of us, but don't daydream! I don't want you having an accident !
Until we get to speak later, oh, and yes, have a pleasant evening out with your friends,
I love you deeply,
Your APT
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Friday, January 08, 2010 4:23 AM
From: APT
Subject: More Info baby
Hi Darling
First, I'm so sorry about Marrakech, but I found flights to Tangiers, also in Morocco, a little to the north but its supposed to be a fabulous place to see, so I thought, why not?
I have also tracked down a central hotel, with a solarium and sauna, sounds sexy! hehe
Have a look at Tangiers on google baby, let me know if you would like to visit,
U know, as long as there's a warm bed and you in it I dun care where we are !
Love you
APT
x x x x x
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Friday, January 08, 2010 9:47 AM
From: MT
Hmm I don't mine Tangiers. Anywhere in the world as long you're with me.
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My comments in blue
Sat, 9 Jan 2010 21:26:14 +0000
From: APT
Hmmmmmm, so, ur complaining you didnt get a mail from me last night huh ?
Well, while you were busy enjoying urself, so was I. I managed to wash my clothes, take a shower, clean out the cat litter and go to bed early, so, see? I had a great time. No boring parties and reunions for me, nooooooo, my evening was so exciting, I almost passed out!
Words cannot express how much this relationship means to me. You have always found the time to cheer me up via e-mail and/or messages and chat lines.
You always seem to know just what to say and I really appreciate that. I know that you are so sincere with your thoughts that you write to me.
On the subject of boring evening, I do hope we will have some of those when we meet in Paris next month, u know, with you spending lots of time checking out the pattern on the hotel bedroom ceiling, and then carefully examing the texture of the bed linen, while we both count the number of tiles in the bathroom together, all these of course, while we're having the longest, hardest but still tender and loving screwing session in the world, phaooorrrrrr !!!!!!!
You may not completely understand just how much I want to explore every last tiny square millimetre of your sexy body, by kissing and licking, tasting every pore and of course, that feeling of two of us being one when the moment arrives. Just in case I need to remind you, when you were here in October, there were many occasions when I had the feeling of being so close to when you had ur orgasm, it was if I were you, inside of you in every sense, a real part of you, so much that I could almost see outside of you through your own eyes. I think I told you before Honey, but I wanna tell you again, I never in my life had that feeling of oneness with someone, as if we were joined together in some way that nothing in the world could separate us, feeling your warm skin pressed against mine, words are just not enough to describe the feeling, but sublime, wonderous, sensual and orgasmic would start to become close.
hmmm nice one..
You know after I've read this email I started to fantasized and had a huge orgasm playing with my nipples. It seems so real..
In our bedroom, I watch your eyes, your lips, as you speak to me. I can't hear a word over my heartbeat. I lean in and kiss you softly. You smile and wrap your arms around me as our lips meet again, harder this time, with longing. My tongue snakes in to meet yours.. and you hold me tighter in your embrace.. our bodies pressed together. My heart pounds faster.I put my arms are around your neck, pulling you closer and kissing you hungrily. Eagerly we break away and peel off our clothes. I smile as our eyes meet and spread my legs to either side of your hips. I breath into your ear "I want you". Your lips roam over my chest, and I softly moan ... moving my hips closer to yours, longing for you, needing your cock to be inside me. You whisper back to me "I want you so much" and straightening your arms, you're right above me. Our eyes meet and our gaze is fixed as you gently push your cock into me. Fireworks explode within me, and gasping, I pull you closer. I waited so long for you.
Just what is it that you have done to me ? I have been totally head over heels in love with you for so long I cant remember any more when I didnt love you, I know you will say its been only a matter of months, but my heart tells me I've loved you for a lifetime, just that you didnt know it until we met. Yes, thats it !, I;ve loved you forever already, but I couldn't tell you so until we actually met, and now that we have, I cant sleep without thinking about you, I cant function in any way whatsoever in my life without always having you on my mind, I still talk to you when you're not here, in the car, in the bathroom, at work. I'm sure some people think Im crazy when i refer to you and you're not there !, I just look at them and think 'yeah, but you dont know my wife, if you did, you could understand why I'm so besotted, so completely in love, and always distracted by the very thought of her' So, thats what you have done to me, turned me into a complete love slave ! there is no doubt I absolutely adore you, i just cannot explain in words how good you make me feel, and at the same time, how desperately sad you make me feel, sad because I cant be with you every second of the day, to pamper and look after you, sad because I cant kiss you goodbye when I go to work in the morning, because I cant kiss you hello when I return home so very sad because I cant do all the normal things than a man who loves a woman so much would like to do
I know it is difficult for you, as it is for me, to be separated for so long. Life seems to be full of trials of this type which test our inner strength, and more importantly, our devotion and love for one another.
Before you came along, I use to think that I was ugly and just not special but now that you are in my life, you have made me feel like I am special and pretty. You never want to hear from me that I am ugly and not worth it. I know that I am worth so much to you and I love that in you.
No matter what happens in our lives, I know that you made my life so much better and I love you.
And yet, through all this sadness, you give me so much happiness, because you promise me that one day, we will be together, and that prospect not only keeps me going from day to day, but gives me strength to carry on day in and day out, hoping and anticipating that when we finally are together, you will still be happy to be with me, and you will not be disappointed, every day for the rest of your life you will understand just how much I love and respect you.
But my Darling MT, I want also that you understand, that the personal, intimate side to our relationship will also be just as you wish and desire it to be, naturally i would never expect you to do anything you dont want to, but you should know that there are times when I want to hold you, not in a sexual way, just to hold and have my arms around you, protective and loving. Then, there will be occasions when we should make soft, gentle, beautiful love, expressing the extent of our love and devotion to each other, this is particularly when I look forward to being able to spend long, long periods of time caressing and stroking your body, massaging and relaxing you, holding closely and kissing intimately and ultimately of course, making love before mutually climaxing together.
Then again, of course, we will sometimes both decide that what we want is a good , old fashioned fuck fest when you can try out all the outrageous positions and activities you wildest fantasies can imagine, you will be kidnapped, blindfolded and made to do all those things you only ever dreamed about, yes, its true, I want to fuck you in the bathroom, on the floor, in the garden even, i want you begging to be shagged like a whore, fucked until you cant walk straight, i want you sucking on my dick like your life depended on it while i bite and suck your pussy til you cant take any more.
Every time I see you, I think I'm out of control. I do not know why I am feeling this way, but it's like nothing I've ever experienced before. I'd like you to know that I love you so much, more than I love myself.
All these things, and so many more, will make our life together just perfect, for instance, I cant wait to take you out and about, telling everyone who will listen that you are my wife, just saying that to a stranger for example, makes me so proud, the fact that i can let the world know that I have been so lucky that you have chosen me to be with . At the same time, I want you to be sure you made the right choice, that is why I will try so very hard to make you proud of me in everything i do, I know you could have chosen someone else, someone with money, position and able to immediately give you all the material things you may wish for, and that you understand I cant do that right at this moment, but I will work every day of my life to provide for you and our children, and work hard to keep you satisfied and content, we will live our lives in accordance with the wishes and ideals of a good islamic marriage, that is, with mutual trust , respect and love, dedication to the family and each other, I will die before I let you down, abuse your trust or be unfaithful, this is my solemn and honest promise to you
I have discovered that a friendship is something that lives and grows. It requires time, care and attention. It has its ups and downs but sometimes the difficulties make it stronger than ever. I have discovered that there is something "mysterious" about this relationship between us. It is almost a thing in itself and yet there is nothing one can see or touch. I have seen changes in me because of you, and changes in you because of me. I am the same person I was before and yet, because of your presence in my life, I am different I have become more sure of myself because you like me the way I am.
Thank you again for being there and coming to my life and making me so special.. your always in my heart. I love you not for what you are but for who you are to me.
I love you MT, with all my heart and soul
Until that moment arrives, I send to you across the miles, my tender love, my warm embrace and my most passionate kiss.
Please don't complain again about not receiving emails at the week-end ! hehe
Your devoted , S
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Sat, 9 Jan 2010 23:23:57 +0000
From: APT
Subject: Grrrrrrrr !!!!!!!!!
Grrrrrrrrr !!!!!!!!!!
Its midnight and I can't sleep, gotta get up for work in three hours and cant sleep at all.
I miss you so very much, what am I gonna do?
Apart from thinkin of you non stop, there's not very much else I can do, except write you an email to tell you now much I truly love you, but you must be getting sick and tired of hearing that by now, so, I apologize.
OK, instead of telling you again, how about this ?I want your body, to play with, to make love to, to ravish, to screw all night long until you cum , time and time again, until your whole body shakes with such a strong climax you think you're gonna explode !
But, in the absence of that, a kiss over the internet will do just fine,
I love you Baby, never, ever forget that
Your sleepless admirer,
APT
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Sat, 9 Jan 2010 23:10:45 +0000
From: APT
Subject: A Short messageDate:
Dearest Darling MT
I love you
thats it !
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Mon, 11 Jan 2010 09:23:49 +0800
From: MT
My darling Vanilla Cheesecake, I just want to tell you know that deep down in my heart I really love you so. Words can never express my love for you but I know you could feel it too. "LOVE IS LIKE A WIND YOU CAN'T SEE IT BUT YOU COULD FEEL IT"
Every song you sent me to express your feelings, every single word you say is a part of my soul.. as if I have already known what you have been about to say. Every step I make I feel because you are 'around' me. When we first met in the msn, I didn't even suspect what a wizard you were about to be. But apparently life can show us such wonders, that we can stay amazed like children, wondering how this could happen to us! Well, I want to thank you for being my angel, my soul, my life!
All the love inside me has been sleeping before I met you. Waiting till the right one came along. Now I want to share the love that I've been keeping inside me with you, only you my darling APT.
You are my best friend and lover and the one I want for life, my yesterday, my today and my tomorrow. You are the one I love and I want everybody to know it! I love you more than anything. I haven't had a stronger feeling than this one I have now, that I want to face the eternity with you by my side. Throughout the night I wanna hold you tight.. I want to wake up with you. I wanna be there when you open your eyes I want you to be the first thing that I see lay by your side.
And I want you to know, that I haven't received anything sweeter than this letter you sent me. I have never felt like this before. Nobody has taken me so far, except you, my prince from the clouds.. hehe however, I will keep to myself of the thoughts and reason why I find myself unattractive.
Your chocolate brownie
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Monday, January 11, 2010 3:59 AM
From: APT
Good Morning My Darling,
So, its now a month to the day when we will be in Paris, lets hope the weather is kinder to us by then!, I'm sure it will be, 'cos the sun always shines on a true love.
You know, when we first met, I was pretty sure you were confident in yourself, sure about what you wanted and were determined to get it, possibly even a bit forward in your first contact with me. How glad I am now that you appeared to be so like that, for if not, I'm not sure if I would have chased after you, purely and simply on the basis of being so far away.
And, thanks to God, you were persistent and eventually we got to meet, the event that changed my life, for the better, and now, it will never be the same again.
But Darling, what happened? even before we actually met, you had changed somewhat, deflecting my compliments, disagreeing with my comments about your attractiveness and even to this day, it still goes on, well… there is something I have to tell you and you must act on this. start to believe me in he things I tell you...I don't say things for effect, I don't tell you lies, I don't tell you things that I think you want to hear .... I tell you the truth.
When I tell you that I love you, you don't doubt me, so.. when I tell you how pretty you look, why would you question that? when I tell you that you look gorgeous.. why do you think I'm not telling the truth? I think I may know the answer, but then again, could be completely wrong, but as a guess, I think you may feel a little insecure, not, I must say, about our relationship, because I hope by now you heard so many times how I feel about you that it has finally sunk in to your head… but possibly a result of something that may have gone on in your life before we met. As we have already agreed, the past is history, and we are only concerned about the future, so,,, please baby, start thinking about only that, the future, and in particular, OUR future, together, as a couple, as a husband and wife, partners, together forever more in a relationship in which there are only good things, like love, respect, trust, fidelity, caring for each other and not one single negative aspect to our partnership.
OK, there may be silly, minor disputes over almost irrelevant things, there always are in a marriage, but there will never be doubt about our underlying love for each other, which will always take priority in the decisions we make… what there will NOT be is mistrust, infidelity, abuse or doubt, we will never doubt that we made the right decision to be together you already have my word on many of these things, so I want to say again that it is all true, I want you in my life so much there is nothing I wouldnt do to keep you happy and content and protected.
You know, we have come together after both having been in a failed relationship, and I believe both of us were the innocent parties and for that reason, we both know how much value we put on our partners qualities, and I absolutely know for one hundred percent, I have found in you all the qualities I could ever wish for, and I have no intention of ever losing you, I love you so much,
Your most sincere admirer,
APT
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Tuesday, January 12, 2010 2:21
From: APT
Good Morning My Darling,
So, here we are at Tuesday morning, the days are counting down, even if you aren't counting them, they're disappearing , one by painful one. But soon, there wont be any days left and we will be together (well, along with your aunt ! ) again, alone (almost) again and free (almost) to enjoy each other once more, and how much I'm looking forward to all that sexy lingerie u promised, errrrrr, I mean, to being together again ( of course) HeHe !
Anyway, to the serious bit, my apology.
Darling, I want you to understand something, yes, i desperately want to be with you forevermore, and I cant wait for that day when we are, there's nothing in the world I want more, you know this and I know you feel the same way. This is why I must sincerely and truly offer you my apology, this is because I've come to realise that you may be feeling there is some kind of pressure on you to be with me, I never intended for you to feel that I was forcing you into something, and its not for telling you that I want us to be together that Im saying sorry, its just in case you feel im putting any pressure on you to be here, Im not my Darling.
I completely understand that you have your affairs to deal with and they will take time, so I want to make things crystal clear : yes, I want you here : no, there is no time limit, I will wait and wait and wait until you are ready, until you are completely satisfied that the time is right for you, not for me. I know i my say things to you about it being a long time, not wanting to wait and stuff like that, but thats just conversation, the fact is, I never want you to feel pressurized, just do things in yout own time, OK honey ?, I'll be here whenever you're ready.
OK, thats the serious bit over, now, back to this lingerie ........ HaHa !, i hope its white, or red, or black, or purple, ohhh damm it ! i dun care what colour it is as long as its got you inside of it , phaoorrrrrrrr !!!!!!!!!! So Baby, what do you think we will spend out time doing when we're next together, you dun have to be shy ! you can tell me anything , why not see if you can write something in for your upcoming internet journal!
Hey, its been a while, but i think i will complete a poem in the next few days, hehe!, if its any good, I'll send it to you, after all, you're the inspiration, without you I wudn't even be trying to write. Time for dinner now sweetheart, so its off to eat, and I'll call you later, or, by the time you read this, I will have called you about four hours ago!
All my true love, APT
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010 3:00 AM
From: APT
My Dearest, Sweetest Princess Chocolate Brownie
Hehe, how many more salutations can I give to you, no matter how many, you will always be the most special person to me.
Referring to out talk today darling, you should know how hurt I felt when I thought you were suggesting that I may be unfaithful to you, you know, we have both been the subject of infidelity and both know the real hurt that it causes, but this s not the only reason I could never do that to you, its also because I have such a deep love for you, i simply could not contemplate the possibility. You know, there may be things that we both say which could give the other cause for concern, but the bottom line, the reality is, I truly believe we are meant for each other and why, oh why would either of us put our relationship at risk by such an action?
I thought that I wouldnt be able to switch on the camera and let you see me as there really were tears in my eyes, just at the thought that you could think that of me after all the things we have told each other over the months, and me loving you so much., But thats how good we are together my darling, within minutes, we can turn around our conversation and you are making me smile without even knowing it.
There is nothing that either of us can do to prove our fidelity, faithfulness has to be based on trust, and you have mine, without question and I would love to believe that I have yours, because I deserve it. Like you, I work, go home, go to sleep,, and work again. I know you are home every evening, just like you know that I am also, OK, you go out week-ends , to dinners with your friends, to school reunions, shopping with Zoo, shopping in JB most Saturdays,,,,, HEY, come to think about it, you're out all of the time ! (HeHe, jus jokin)
BEFORE I FORGET , if you are planning to book a hotel, plz wait until i made the flight bookings this friday, then we can be certain of the dates.
Hey, whats all this silliness I am hearing about in Malaysia? riots or something, all about non muslims using the name of Allah, swa, or has it not been reported in yr local news ?
Baby, we are going to be so very happy together, you're going to find out what a true love in your life means, I dont care who, or how many people told you previously that they loved you, when you are with me every day, you'll find out that they were wrong, mis-informed, telling you untruths, because I will show you by example, in thoughts and actions, just what it is to be loved by someone, by me that is. I know its nice to have material things, but in the final analysis, thats all they are…. things, yes, i will provide you with material things as far as its possible for me to do so, but more importantly, I give you my most sincere word that you will have spiritual and physical love like you will not have experienced before, I want you always to feel you are a very special individual, because of course you are, and believe me, if I am able to make you feel even half as good as you make me feel... you'll love it ! I plomise!
Well Honey, I gotta go now, ritual bathe and make Du'a to thank the almighty, not just for the good things that ha happened in the past days, but also for finding you, for having me fall in love with you and for you returning that love, but also to pray for both of us to be strong while we are apart and that we will live in happiness and a caring, loving atmosphere when he decides the time has come for us to be together forever, for it is, as we both know, the will of the almighty that will secure our future, other matters are just something we have to deal with along the way.
Have a wonderful day today my Princess, I more than love you, I adore you,
simply me,
APT S
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Wed, 13 Jan 2010 13:03:36 +0800
From: MT
Hello my darling APT,
I think every email you sent to me is beautiful!
I was busy again since morning. Now that it's lunch hour, so I decided to relax, sit back and write you an email.
Baby, I felt so terrible last night on the statement.. I don't mean to hurt you honey. I am sorry for being too open about my feelings and thoughts. But whatever I said last night, the truth is, I love you so much. I love you becoz you listen to me when I share the small triumphs struggles of the day. I love you becoz you respect me. You honor the woman that I am, rather than try to make me into someone I am not. I love you becoz in moment of frictions between us, you hear me out. Even if you don't agree with me, you listen with a longing to understand me. Of all, I love you becoz you appreciate me and accept my imperfections.
I miss you APT and I want to be with you and hold you soonest possible. I want to gently touch your face and cup your cheek in my hand as I look into your green eyes so I can read your mind, while we snuggle and cuddle as we talk of our feeling for one another. I want to do the everyday things with you, together. I feel such warmth and comfort when I'm in your arms. I am relaxed and content when we sat in the couch cuddling with passion. I want you to know how much I cherish and adore you. I gave my heart to you and I want your heart, I want it all. I'm selfish and greedy.. Yes I know ;-)
I want to hold your hand across the table in a restaurant. I want others at the restaurant to be jealous of our intimacy and our tender affection for one another. I want you to know how essential you are in my life. You make me feel loved and worthy of love. I have missed much in life becoz I do not have a 'companion'. Yes, I used to have a husband but not emotionally there for me. You are the companion that I've wanted for so long. You are the one that I want to share life's adventures with and share my innermost secret with.
Boy! I'm glad that we will be meeting again in Feb. You just have no idea how long I missed you! My arms missed holding you! My heart is overflowing with love for you. I missed you desperately! I long to share the intimacy of talking from the heart. I have had so much love to give and that it has been bottled up inside me for so very long. No one has been really interested in opening the bottle and see what was really inside. You have filled my heart with untold joy and happiness.
You know what honey, I don't think that meeting at this time of our life was by chance or accident.. I think we have been brought together at this time in our lives for something very special. I can't wait to explore what life has in store for us.
You are the man till the end of my days.
Love forever,
MT
PS: Going for dept dinner tonight at 6.30pm. I will be home before 9pm.
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Thursday, January 14, 2010 9:13 AM
From: MT
Subject: Sensual Love Letter To My Sweetheart
My Dear S,
I thought I would let you know that my love for you is burning very brightly this morning. My heart longs for you. My hearts leap at the sound of your voice in the morning and my heart filled with joy by your smile.
My heart longs for my love and adoration to flow to you as I gently hold and kiss your hands. I want to feel the passion as I caress your face, stare into your green eyes and tenderly kiss you.
I longs to see that our love grow for one another as we sit on the couch and we share from the heart.
This heart longs to feel the sensual passion and desire as you feed me the Ben & Jerry's ice cream ;-) I love you my love.
With all the love of my tender heart.
MT
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Thursday, January 14, 2010 1:55 AM
From: APT
Good Morning
My Darling,
I read and re-read your mail of yesterday so many times, Im always amazed by the way you write to me, you express your feelings and thoughts in such a beautiful way, every time I read it over again, I get more and more of a sense of feeling closer with you, I'm just engrossed when i read whatever you write to me.
But one thing, please don't apologise for things that you say, your honesty and openness is so important to me, I never want you to hide anything, I may not want to hear it at the time, but I DO want to hear it, even though it may hurt, I want to hear it, we have to be open and honest and frank with each other, don't we, and if something is hurtful, don't be concerned, we will get over it very quickly, because we both understand it wasn't said with the intention of being hurtful, or out of spite, but maybe just something which slips out and could be misunderstood by the other side, because, you know, love is many things, it's caring about someone yes, but it's also about forgiving, at least forgiving certain things, and something said without malice is definitely one of those things to be forgiven, so my sweetheart, say anything you feel inside you, at the very worst, I will always be forgiving, as I hope you would be.
And you know, when I think about what you wrote about us meeting at this time of out lives, I fully agree, we have both been though things in our past that we have learned from and indeed, I never thought I would be able to trust a woman again, but you have shown such openness and sincerity I find myself trusting someone again, which I never thought would be possible, and, again to be open with you, it's the thought of that trust being abused that is the most difficult thing to overcome, but on that subject, you have won me over, and I am certain that we have something special to experience together in the future.
Oh Baby, how I dream so much , all the time, about so many things concerning just you and me, I love to sit and imagine that you're here, sat close by, talking to me, telling me about your day, and me replying, giving you encouragement and praise, then you walk across the room, sit down next to me on the sofa so I can put my arm around you, and you curl up on the sofa with your head in my lap so i can stroke your soft hair and gently massage your neck and shoulders, watching a movie on tv, but not really concentrating on the film, looking into those big, dark eyes and telling you how much I love you, just being together, alone.
You know, we're both at that stage in our life when we realise there are more important things than material assets. Emotions, feelings, spirituality, contentment and happiness have a value that money simply could never buy. You bring all these things into my existence and I could only ever dream and hope for these things before I met you, for this, I will be forever gratefulBut of course, the bills have to be paid !, and in order to do that, is why I'm hoping in the next day or so, to have two jobs. Baby, if I could, I would take twenty two jobs so I could provide for you. I know you want to come here and work, but dont get hung up on that Darling, it will all work out, it's our destiny, I promise you, to be together.
So now it's time to go get something to eat, watch Liverpool play football on TV, then call you before sleeping.I really don't understand why you think you sound so terrible first thing in the morning, if there is ever a time your voice is a real turn-on, its when you've just woken up , believe me, I'm the one who hears your voice! It's just 6pm right now, 2am in S'pore and your sleeping peacefully, and I have to wait another 4 hours before i can call you, I wanna ring you right now! BooHoo, I just gotta be patient
Please don't work too hard today my Princess, you deserve the best, and that includes the best at your place of work, so work softly, calmly and don't get stressed, drive carefully and get home to me safely, Until we meet again this evening.
Keep my love in your heart,
APT x x x x
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Thursday, January 14, 2010 5:01 AM
From: APT
Subject: I Just Had To Write Again
Hi Sweetheart
It's half time in the football, and I got the urge to write to you again, hope you dont mind.
The match is so boring, my mind began to wander and I looked over at the armchair, and you were sitting in it, reading, looking so beautiful and serene, so completely relaxed and well, kind of 'at home' Of course, the reality is that you weren't there, but i could picture you in my mind and for just a brief second, the image of you was so real, my Darling, I couldn't feel any closer to you than I do right now, and I don't mean at almost 10 minutes before 9pm on this wednesday evening, I mean at this moment in my life. I want you so badly, yes, it hurts and I'm going to have to restrain myself when we meet in , what is it now ? 29 days time ?, or exactly four weeks by the time you read this.
Did I ever tell you just what a wonderful woman you are? If not, then you should be aware that I think you have such qualities, such an ability to completely knock me off my feet , just a glance from you and I begin to melt, you smile at me thru your webcam every evening and you just cant tell the effect you have on me, I can go light headed simply looking at you, that smile, the grin, even the grimaces, so expressive, theres really no surprise I fell in love with you.
You told me in your email yesterday that you appreciate I accept you for what you are, well Honey, I only know you for what you are, I dont know your life story, I dont know your history and to be honest, my concern is for your future, one that includes us being together, growing older, being in love every day , never having regrets about choosing each other, and, above all, being happy together, this last one is something I have complete confidence in, as it's my plan to gaurentee your happiness.
Sorry for repeating myself, but maybe the more I tell you this, the hope is that you will never question it anymore, so, I love you Ms T, I love you M T, my sweet darling MT, any way I say it, it sounds good!
I hope i haven't taken up too much of your work time, so GO, file some papers or something, just no sitting on the boss's knee! Haha
I love you, M.T.
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Friday, January 15, 2010 4:13 AM
From: APT
Subject: Friday, less than 4 weeks to go !
Hi Darling,
Just less than four weeks to go, cany tell you how much Im looking forward to that date next month when we will be together again.
But before that, you have to get better, Im really concerned for you baby, please make sure to go see the doctor today like you promised, ok?
I dont know what I would do if you were to fall ill, being so far away, its a horrible thought to have to even contemplate, for both our sakes, just get some medical attention and remember, no work if you're not feeling 100% by monday.
I really dont want to insist, or make you do something you dont want to, but if you love me like you say, you'll do this small thing for me, without me having to nag you ( or am I doing that already?)
Today being the last day of the week, I suppose you will be planning ( subject to what the doctor says !) to go shopping in JB, well, if you do, please dont stay out longer than you need to, drive slowly and carefully and get back home to bed safely. Sunday, you rest and relax, no karaoke, no reunion dinners or McD's GRRRRRRRR !
Ok, Ok, Ok, I know I'm going on, but it's only 'cos I don't want you falling ill, I love you and care about you, nothing will ever change that and if you were here, by now , you would be wrapped up in cotton wool, with me serving you home made chicken soup and vanilla ice cream, while you rested in bed.
Today is finally pay day, and when I get home I will be making the flight reservations or three of us to go to Morocco, i hope i worked enough hours ! hehe !, once i've done this baby, you can reserve the hotel room and get in contact with Z** to confirm all the details. I cant wait to see what we have planned for our time together, hopefully just a fun time and as much time as possible together.
Hmmmmm, did I tell you I love you ?, well, I do, with such a passion, deeply and sincerely, you may have started off in this relationship as a friend, which you still are of course, but you quickly became my best friend, then my girlfriend, then my lover, now my fiancee, and soon my wife. Hmm, I love that sequence, its smooth, natural and the last part is so worth looking forward to. There's no time limit on you becoming my wife darling, you know that, just like there is no limit on my love for you.
Im feeling so tired now honey, Im off to bed early and will call you (before you read this obviously) hehe ! but i hope you have had a good nights rest , until later, with all my love,
APT
x x x x x
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Monday, January 18, 2010 5:58
From: APT
Good Morning Darling,
Another Monday morning, that means one less until i see you again, yahhooooo !
So lovely to talk throughout the day yesterday, i like sunday's off when I can do that with you, although you didnt wanna see me later in the evening, its ok, i get to 'hear' your words on the screen, and we talk, that means so much to me.
Please Baby, if you wanna go eat burgers today, you go,,,,,,take Deedee and enjoy yourselves. I dont want t o stop you from doing anything you want to do, yes, Im concerned for your well being, but one more burger aint gona kill you, is it ?
You know how much I love you and if we were together, I would be careful about everything you do, includig eating, but would never , ever, stop you from doing what you wanted to do, within reason, of course ! HaHa
Just imaging...... what will be the things we do when we are together ? obviously normal things like going shopping, but also like, days out to the countryside, walking in the hills and by the sea, maybe the cinema, theatre, just rambling around the towns and cities together, hand in hand, sitting and taking a coffee, watching the world go by, you smoking those funny fruity cigarettes, hehe, and wherever we are, whatever we're doing, I'm looking at you with only the fondest and trueist love in my eyes, whether its through your webcam, or in person, every time I look into your eyes, I fall in love with you all over again
You know, it gonna be difficult to keep my hands off you when we meet next at the airport, and its such a long, 20 minute journey into the centre of paris ! I suppose its a good job that Z** will be there to protect you from me! hehe, I love you my darling, have done all my life, and will for the rest of it, and longer.
I hope you are feeling better this morning, and that your cough is beginning to go away, and when your medications are finished, it has gone forever
Almost time to wake you up now sweetheart, so, until this evening,
All my love, APT
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